On Being Woke AF

Oh I'm proper pissed off today. I don't know if it is because I am over tired or because this year has been like a fucking roller coaster but today can fuck off.

This year so far has had some brilliant bits. The Lovely has started his own business, we are closer than ever, Daughter Person is going to Uni, I got a first in a uni assignment, my job fulfils me and I became an aunty again to the fightiest little girl ever. (12 weeks early, came out shouting, you can tell we're related).

Also has had some proper shit bits. Mental health took a real knock after spending less than 2 hours with Bio Mum and I got a (not entirely undeserved) bollocking at work. I'm tired, my endo is shit and I am piling on weight so not always feeling very good about myself. I am weepy a lot of the time and I despair a lot of the time and I am starting to blame one thing.

I am woke as fuck.

I sometimes wish I wasn't. I sometimes wish I could go through the world totally oblivious to the shit that goes on. I sometimes wish that I wasn't as aware of mental health issues, or race issues, or gender or disability or sexuality issues.

I sometimes wish I was the kind of woman who was happy with her lot in life and thought that All Lives Matter because we need to be equal! I sometimes wish I had no idea about privilege or intersectionality or the fact that 2-3 women are murdered by their current or ex partners a week.

Maybe I would sleep better. Maybe I wouldn't be so fucking TENSE all the time. Maybe these things wouldn't piss me off so much.

Motivational posts: Fuck off. Just fuck off. On my FB timeline RIGHT NOW is such bullshittery as HIT LIKE AND SHARE IF YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER/SON/MUM/DAD/DOG/CAT/CROCODILE OR WHATEVER THAT YOU LOVE WITH ALL YOUR HEART!

Well fuck me, I love my cat and my daughter person, I had better share the shit out of that!

Oh and articles about THE WORST EYEBROW SINS WOMEN CAN COMMIT.

Are you fucking shitting me? Do you not think that we have enough to worry about without people judging us for our fucking eyebrows now? It's like patriarchy panicked because women had started to not give a shit about armpit hair and had to have something to have a go at us about. PSA: do what the fuck you like with your eyebrows. Couldn't actually give a shit and if you are judging women for theirs you either need to get a fucking grip and/or stop buying into a patriarchal society that wants women to shame each other for capitalism.

While I am at it, people can make you feel bad without your consent. (this is the motivational post I hate the most, fucking victim blaming piece of shit that has no idea about manipulation and coercion).

Also, if you derail a conversation about violence against women to talk about men, you can fuck off an all. You are part of The Problem.

Don't want an abortion? Don't get one. Just stay the fuck out of everyone else's wombs and decisions.

Also, reverse sexism is not A Thing. Sexism is backed up by cultural oppression and capitalism and teh menz don't get that. You're confusing sexism with Fragile Masculinity. And worse, they have women doing it.

Reverse racism: See above.

And white people. Stop thinking you can say nigger. I don't care how much fucking hip hop you listen to, you don't get to say it. Not ever. Stop.

See what I mean? All of this would be easier if I never had any political awakening. I would be able to go through my life without giving any of it a second thought. But I can't.

I can't see the bloody poster for Emilia Clarke's new film without wondering why, when she is gazing directly into the eyes of her loved one FROM THE SIDE that we can still see her entire bloody cleavage!

I can't see a 'joke' saying that (and I really wish I was making this up) 'gagging is the most romantic sound you can hear because it means someone has chosen your dick over oxygen' and not lose my shit.

I can't not call out slut shaming. PSA: women can have lots of sex and still respect themselves.

STOP FUCKING JUDGING WOMEN FOR THEIR CHOICES.

I can't not call out racism, homophobia, transphobia or ableism.

STOP JUDGING PEOPLE NON STOP.

My life would be easier but I just can't.

You can't go back to sleep once you've woken. You can't be blind when the scales have fallen from your eyes.

You can never go home again.

On Why I Am So Angry About Rachel Dolezal

I am sure you all know the story right? White woman gets an education that was meant to go to a black woman by blacking up.

Kinda like Soul Man but without Thomas C Howell.

And in real life.

She keeps pretending to be black and teaches black studies and tells black women how to do their hair.

Her parents out her as actually being white after a FUCKING DECADE of this shit.

Black Twitter is angry as fuck.

White Twitter talks about Caitlyn Jenner and if 'he can feel like a woman' (vomits) then why can't Rachel 'feel black'.

I am not even making this shit up.

So here are my thoughts, ranty as they may be, on the issue.

First off, and this is really important to remember... CAITLYN JENNER IS A WOMAN. SHE DOESN'T 'FEEL' LIKE A WOMAN, SHE ISN'T 'PRETENDING' TO BE A WOMAN, SHE ISN'T 'ACTING' LIKE A WOMAN. SHE. IS. A. FUCKING. WOMAN.

Dear white people conflating race with gender and making this about a rich white woman. Fuck you.

NO. Put down the transgender issues where it comes to Rachel Dolezal They. Are. Not. The. Same. Thing. NO.

Why so afraid to condemn a white woman that you have to derail and talk about gender assignment? No.

When you say 'I don't see colour' you are denying my heritage to make yourself more comfortable about my oppression. Stop.

I can *kind of* understand why a black woman would try to pass as white to achieve in a system that is inherently racist.

Rachel Dolezal is playing at being me while retaining white privilege because at ANY TIME she can 'revert' to the safer situation. A bit like that Pulp song Common People.

Only in real life.

Am appalled at the amount of people trying ANYTHING to find an excuse for Rachel Dolezal. For crying out loud, this isn't 1970. The Black and White Minstrels are no longer a thing. Blackface. Is. Fucking. OFFENSIVE.

Been nearly a week and I can't quite get my head around the fact that this Rachel Dolezal shit is still going. If she really was black she would be forgotten by now.But you know, it's cool. Lets defend a white woman stealing from black women. Again.

And let's excuse her by saying 'maybe she feels black like trans women feel like women.' Fuck. Off. With. That. Shit.

Trans women *ARE* women. Rachel Dolezal is not black.

See how easy that was? Trans women are women. Rachel Dolezal white, privileged, lying thief. You are welcome.

There are always differences in the narrative where it comes to black women v white women. And it plays into racism, sexism and ableism.

Oh she had mental health issues = white women.I thought the crazy bitch had a gun = black women.Do you see now?

Then there was the kind, enquiring soul who asked 'How black do you have to be to call yourself black anyways?'

WELL NOT BEING WHITE IS A GOOD START.

This whole thing makes me feel sick.

Sick of my heritage being appropriated so that white women 'belong' while they hold their bags tighter near a black man.

Sick of my black sisters being labelled and put into stereotypical boxes to make it easier to steal our culture.

And I am sick of having to explain this over and over and over again to y'all and I have had enough.

If you are trying to find excuses for Rachel Dolezal you are part of the problem.

Fuck you.