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Friday 17 January 2014

Fuck Off Russell, Feminism Doesn't Need You

So. Russell Brand is a feminist now huh?

Yeah, he is, he held up a No More Page 3 t-shirt and everything.

That is all it takes apparently.

Granted, he we went further than when Cameron said he was a feminist. Didn't see Dave holding up a t-shirt did we? Huh? HUH?

And it is apparently the love of a good woman that has led to his Damascus moment.

Fuck. Off.

See Russ, I can call you Russ now that we're sisters and all that can't I, if you have had the scales fall from your eyes through the love of a good woman then I am afraid that you are still thinking with your cock.

While it is happy and fulfilled then you can play at feminism, but break up with the 'good woman' and I am betting that you go back to your sleazy, objectifying, creepy ways without even blinking.

If you being a feminist is predicated on your relationship then it isn't feminism at all and to be honest Russ you would be a fucking liability to the movement so we don't actually want you.

Poor little misogynist boy...

Poor, poor Russ. No one understands you do they? When you were refusing to go on set till a junior wardrobe mistress showed you her tits it was to emancipate her from her crippling insecurity over her body and NOT a sexual assault based on the entitlement of the male gaze was it?

And when you rang an old man and bragged about how you fucked his granddaughter, what you really meant to say was 'I had great consensual sex which was all about mutual gratification.' didn't you? Coz Russ, when you say 'I fucked' it sounds awfully like 'I took as was my right' and that is a teensy bit sexist.

It also buys into purity culture where you are seen as a conqueror of women who are left worthless because they were taken by your almighty dick.

Have you got on to purity culture yet or are you still all about getting laid by saying you respect women now and not quite wearing a t-shirt.

If you really want to be a feminist, and in Russell Brand's dictionary 'feminist' must mean 'egotistical, attention seeking, rapey bawbag' then you have much to learn. (copyright @TittyO'Shea)

For a start, it isn't as easy as just saying you are a feminist. I can say I'm a mermaid, it doesn't mean I am one, even though I do like to soak in the bath a lot.

So here are some tips if you are serious about this respecting women lark.

Don't simultaneously slag off all women you have slept with, including your ex wife by saying they are not good women. Lacking in taste they may be, but they don't deserve that.

Don't act surprised that this whole concept of respecting women actually exists. OH MY! WOMEN HAVE BEEN CALLING ME SEXIST FOR YEARS, WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME BEFORE THAT I HAD A CHOICE IN HOW I  TREATED THEM?!?

I'm not buying it. Most people I know aren't buying it. I'm not sure even you are buying it and it seems that you are just saying it to get the love of a good woman.

It feels fake Russ and the feminist movement doesn't want that.

You remind me of those creeps who act like they don't eat meat so that hot vegetarian chicks will have sex with them. It's fucking creepy Russ and there are already enough men pretending to be feminists to get laid. We really don't need any more.

Don't treat women as objects. Don't perpetuate the idea that a woman is gagging for it and therefore to be used.

Don't slut shame. Don't victim blame. Don't treat women as your rescuers.

Don't call yourself a feminist. You don't get to join us by holding a fucking t-shirt. We work hard at this shit partly because of the lad culture, dressed up as effete caddery though it may be, that you perpetuate as lover/conqueror of women.

Don't even try to say that you slept with so many women because you love them. Not when you treated them as commodities to taunt their grandfathers with.

Maybe I am being unfair. Maybe you really have turned a corner and want to do the right thing.

Nearly said that with a straight face then.