I'll say that again. David Cameron, Prime Minister, allegedly face fucked a dead pig. (You know I'm saying allegedly coz I have to right?)
And nobody was surprised.
Amused, yes. Surprised, no.
And now a picture has emerged which is apparently of a young, naked Cameron (except for bow tie) looking at the pig's head on the lap of someone (don't know who, if it matters it will come out soon enough) with a look on his face of, well, I'm not sure really. Studious readiness it would seem. (though I do wonder, if this picture turns out to be real, what his face looked like on the other 23 pictures that would have been on the roll.)
You know those questions you see on Facebook quizzes, stuff like 'Would you cross the road butt naked RIGHT NOW for £10000?' (well yeah, it's just flesh) well, this is like a really high stakes version of that.
WOULD YOU SLIDE YOUR CHUNGUS INTO A DEAD PIGS MOUTH FOR A CHANCE TO BE PRIME MINISTER?!!
Bit unsubtle?
How about, would you slip your bulbous salutation into the oral cavity of a deceased porcine?
Or maybe Eton mess in pigs cheek anyone?
Well, would you?
Actually, don't answer that. The answer isn't that important. What is important is the responses to the allegations of the dead pork fellatio.
There seem to have been a range of responses. Let's deal with them in turn.
Boys will be boys.
And girls will be girls. Dogs will be dogs and cats will be cats. Dolphins will be dolphins. Actually, dolphins are a bad example as anyone who has seen the video of one wanking himself off with a dead fish will attest to, but generally, being of a specific gender or even species does not mean we should expect sex acts with dead pigs.
He was young
Ah yes. The folly of youth. Who hasn't done silly things when they were younger? Not me. I have done some really stupid things. We all have. I am willing to bet that for none of you, much like myself, they involved having carnal knowledge of sunday's dinner. And now that he is older and Prime Minister he takes that same sense of entitlement and looks down on us and implements policies that kill people. Literally kill people. And he is just getting started on his quest for domination.
It isn't true
Well now, how do you know? If it isn't, how come still no denial and actually, it is something that we have no problem believing. That says a lot about how we view the monied classes. We think that face fucking a dead pig is something they would do.
So what?
Actually this is a good point. Why should we care? Does it matter? the pig was dead so it couldn't object, and who did it harm really?
Yes. It matters. Yes we should care. When the route to power is not through democracy, not through merit and is instead about who is willing to put their old chap in Peppa's mouth then there is something really very wrong. When Lord Ashcroft openly admits that he is doing this because £8m into the tory coffers didn't get him the exact job he wanted then we can no longer hide. We can no longer plead plausible deniablity about where power comes from and how it is distributed.
We always knew that power was for sale in Parliament. We always knew that it was corrupt. We always knew that politics for Conservatives was a game that posh boys played so that when they retired they could make even more money. We knew it and apart from when it suited us (expenses scandal and money for questions) we ignored it.
And now we can't.
Because of Lord Ashcroft, his major league tantrum and the lust for power that became (alleged) sexy time with a dead pig we cannot ignore it any more. This has to be the point where we demand change. This has to be the point where we say 'Enough. You will not fuck us any more. We're not pigs.'
Because if we don't, for generation after generation after generation it won't just be the pig that gets fucked.
