On Being A Sexually Aware Teenager

Read a Huff Post article today which made me more mad than I have been for a long while.

I'm conflicted as to whether or not to link to it as I'm sure it's link bait. You know, when online papers print something so FUCKING outrageous that you're sure it's just so they can get you to their website.

At least I HOPE that's what happened. Fuck knows.

The article was dealing with the fact that 13 year old girls have sexual thoughts. Anyone who is shocked at that is either in some fucking deep denial or has never been a 13 year old girl.

Personally I have been. And shock, horror, I had sexual thoughts. Fantasies too. My burgeoning sexuality was a thing to behold. I had the first of many orgasms as I discovered myself. Shut, I couldn't stop, I was seriously worried that I was going to do damage to my insides (Catholic school for ya) but I didn't care. My nightly forays into my sexuality were comforting, exciting and addictive.

I was never alone in my night world. I usually had someone famous with me. Simon le Bon was a regular, as was David Sylvain. At the same time on occasion. There were times when the partners in my fantasies were numerous and of both genders.

But you know what? I was 13. This behaviour is, I believe, not only normal, but safe and healthy.

I was a total wanker.

Does that mean I was overtly sexual? Sometimes. It is normal for teenage girls to flirt with men. It's how they learn. It is generally a safe, innocent thing and totally harmless.

Does it mean that I wanted to have sex? Sometimes. I was sexually awake and very curious about what it would actually feel like. Especially with someone I was madly in love with (there is still part of me that is annoyed that I was never Mrs Le Bon) but also I had fantasies about being picked out of a crowd by a pop star, usually John Taylor, and fucked.

Does this mean that if I had ever been in a position to have had sex with a famous person that, because I had fantasized about it that it would have been ok to do it? Fuck. No.

The age of consent is there for a reason. It is a protection. Whereas I truly believe that every woman has the right to do with her own body exactly as she pleases, I do believe that it is down to adults NOT to use the fact that a 13 year old has sexual thoughts as an excuse yo fuck them. They are supposed to be the grown ups.

The article assumes that these child predators know exactly what they're doing and maybe the author of that piece did.

But just because I was wanking myself silly at 13 doesn't mean that every girl does. My experience isn't everyone's experience.

The author's experience isn't the experience of every teenager who ever got fucked by a rock star.

She mentions a friend of mine in her article. I promise her, she knows FUCK ALL about her.

My friend was referred to as a slag, a 'Lolita' who had led this poor horny rock star astray. It made me angry then and it makes me angry now.

My friend was groomed. Young girls the world over get groomed. Then blamed for being so damn sexy.

This is why we need feminism. So that when a teenager, sexual thoughts or not, gets groomed and fucked by anyone, famous or not, that we don't slut shame. We don't treat her as lesser for having sexual feelings.

Sexual thoughts are normal. Fucking underage girls is not.