On Being Kinder

Hello and welcome to what will be a weekly update. I know I neglected this blog dreadfully last year and I intend to make up for it this year.

But not in a NEW YEAR NEW ME type of way.

Apart from the fact that every single one of us is Fucking Perfect Exactly As We Are, I can't be doing with the whole idea that an arbitrary date is the way to go to change things about ourselves that we don't particularly like.

Wanna stop smoking? Do it. Wanna lose weight? Do it. Want to be less judgemental about how others live their lives? Don't wait. Self improvement on the back of self loathing on a certain date isn't going to help you.

Just before christmas... EAT LOADS! YOU HAVE TO CONSUME OR YOU ARE SHIT!

Just after christmas... YOU DISGUSTING FUCKING PIG! LOOK AT THE FUCKING STATE OF YOU!! LOSE SOME WEIGHT FATTY!!

These are not knew ideas, every year someone blogs on it, it is well known that mixed messages about food and self esteem exist. Gym memberships soar in january, people go a month without drinking, the social media updates about how many days they haven't been smoking abound.

Here is an idea. If you really feel you have to make a New Year's resolution, make it this one.

Be Kinder.

That's it. To yourself, to others, to the planet. Go take that class on flower arranging and if you decide it isn't for you, then don't beat yourself up about it. Just take a different fucking class. Write that book you said you would write, even if you only write for an hour a day and manage 200 words. Shave your head if you want. Go on holiday. Fall in love. Be brave and run naked down a beach. And don't beat yourself up if your dream is just to get through the day without hating yourself. It's all valid. Be kind to yourself.

But not in a 'No one will love you unless you love yourself' type way. That bullshit is not just not true, it is damaging. So be kind to yourself and fuck off that way of thinking.

Not sure what I wanted to say with this post. Just wanted to let you all know that I am ok. Better than ok, I am good. Really good. I'm in a new, healthy relationship with an amazing bloke, I have moved city, I am starting a new job in a couple of weeks and my mental health is better than it has been for a very long time, if ever. I go to football with my housemate on a regular basis #BLUEBIRDS. I am eating healthier and yet don't feel like I am denying myself anything. I do kickboxing now. And it turns out I can kick and punch HARD.

I am writing a book, I am blogging and I am happy.

I am being kind to myself.

Here is hoping you can be too. And if you can't, then you can at least be kind enough not to beat yourself up for it.

Much love,

Deeva xxx