Ed Miliband apparently wasn't always married. No I am not linking to the fucking Daily Fail but they this week made much fuss over the fact that Ed had OTHER GIRLFRIENDS!!
I wish I was making this shit up.
I like that Ed had girlfriends and (assuming) sex. Makes him seem human. Tbf he wasn't exactly prolific was he? Not like he was swinging the lead with every woman he saw.
But even if he was as long as it was consensual, I don't have a problem with it.
I've lost count of the amount of times I did the Strut of Slut. (refuse to call it the Walk of Shame like I had anything to be ashamed of) If sex is consensual Ed has nothing to be ashamed about.
Not like he was paying for sex and snorting coke while dressed as a nazi is it?
(I would only really have a problem with the nazi bit, being pro autonomy but you get my point)
I'm not sure Cameron has ever had sex. I always think Sam Cam lays an egg and Dave sends a butler to fertilise it.
I find this idea more tasteful than the idea of Dave on the vinegar strokes red faced and picturing Thatcher in his final throes.
So Ed had sex before he married Justine.
If that bothers you, this may well blow your mind... He may well have had sex with her before they got married! (The kids may give this away. Not for Ed and Justine egg laying and butlers).
What next Daily Fail?
ED MILIBAND SCRATCHES HIS BALLS IN THE MORNING!
EXCLUSIVE: ED MILIBAND PICKS NOSE WHEN ITCHY!
MILIBAND IN NEEDING A POO IN THE MORNING SHOCKER!!!
Seriously, if Sexy Ed is the best they can come up with they need to
a) take better trolling lessons
b) go back to journalism school
c) meet me round the back of the bike sheds for a 'quiet word'
Vote sexy. Vote Labour.
