What Feminism Looks Like To Me

I called this blog Deeva's Corner for a reason. It was always intended to be how I viewed the world from my little corner of it.

From my love of the Lannisters to my battle with anorexia, I have never claimed to speak for anyone else and I don't intend to start now.

This blog is all me, for better or worse.

Right, now I've got that out of the way, on to the reason for this post.

Feminazis. Or, more accurately, being accused of being a Feminazi. Or too feminist. Or not feminist enough. Or having my feminism defined for me. I'm tired of it. Tired of it all. So I thought I'd lay out on the line what feminism means. To me. Because believe it or not folks, I am more than capable of defining myself.

(of course this is subject to change as I learn more about myself and the world around me)

So, first question is why am I a feminist? Simple answer that one. Because I live as a woman in a world that views me as second class. Because there are still things that affect me that don't affect the men. Because no matter how far we have come, equality, true equality, hasn't yet happened.

Don't believe me?

Try living in a world where you have to risk assess going to pick up bread and milk in case you get raped.

Try living in a world where male on male sexual abuse is seen as somehow worse (gay) than male on female (more normal).

Where men think equality is a gift for them to give. (hint, check your privilege guys).

Where on prime time telly on a Saturday night, women are referred to as 'pieces of scenery' and no one gets called out on it.

Where bodily autonomy is being attacked.

Where choice is being attacked.

Where you can get cat called and harrassed and 'it only happens to good looking women, it's a compliment' is seen as a reasonable excuse.

Where women are still expected to be the main caregivers for children.

Am I boring you yet? Tough. Welcome to my world.

Where we still don't have equal pay. Even though it's been law for ages.

Where anti choice groups are given free reign to terrorize women outside abortion clinics.

Where governments get to decide what I do with my body and when.

Where not every company has a domestic abuse policy.

Where we're either too fat or too thin or too young or too old. Too loud or too quiet or too butch or too feminine. Or too frigid. Or too slutty. Because, and this is the important bit, patriarchy has been allowed for too long to define us.

Getting the idea? This is the world I live in. Yet I wouldn't change my gender. It forms part of what and who I am.

So that, for me, is why feminism. As to what it looks like to me...

Choice. Always choice. Wanna be hairy be hairy. Wanna be smooth, be smooth. Want an abortion, have one. Against abortion, don't have one. Wanna wear a habit, do it. Wanna walk round naked, your choice. Children? Only of you want. Ditto marriage. And career.

And for me it means speaking up and educating.

Recognize and call out sexism when you see it. Educate those around you. Bring up your kids with values that promote equality and personal bodily autonomy.

Stand up. Say no. Fight.

*sigh* sure there will be those who think you boring or aggressive. Fuck them. You do what you have to do to make YOUR little corner of the world a better place for you.

I had a new tattoo last week. "Were you born to resist or be abused?" on my forearm. A question, a note to myself and a mission statement all rolled into one.

I was born to resist. To stand up and speak out.

And that's what feminism means to me.