Interview With A Menz #prochoice

Last night I had a conversation with someone who is not just a colleague but a friend of mine. A male friend of mine.

He is a good person, does lots of good work for the community, and is a regular Mr Nice Guy.

But he had been reading about girls as young as 13 getting contraceptive jabs at school And he had questions.

What follows is a transcript of our conversation. I reproduce it to show two things. One, there is still a LOT of misinformation out there and two, everyone can be taught if they ask and are prepared to listen.

Oh and that feminism isn't about treating men as if they were stupid.

I know that's 3 things. Shut up. It's been a long day.

What to call him? Don't want to say 'him'....

Dave, we'll call him Dave.

Dave:
6.5% of 15 year old girls in Bristol are given a contraceptive jab in school.... hmmmm

Me:
Should be all of them who request it. Teenagers will have sex. If we educate them there will be less teenage pregnancy and fewer abortions.

Dave:
and more STDs as they will be using the jab instead of condoms

Me:
Nope. The evidence suggests the opposite. Young women who are given the jab along with education about contraception in general are MORE likely to insist on condoms.

Dave:
so why have the jab then? am I just thick?

Me:
The jab makes things double safe. No contraception is 100% Condoms do split. It's like wearing a jumper and coat.
Also the bigger picture is that there will be some of these young women who will be crying with relief because they now can't get pregnant by abusive family members.
Of course the biggest picture is that of a woman chooses to have the jab it is her choice alone and whatever the reason we have no right to interfere.

Dave:
Fair enough, just seems to be encouraging them to break the law
(obviously there are some, as you have said, who have no choice... but I'm not on about them)

Me:
It's also protection from pregnancy through rape.
It's not encouraging them to break the law. It is encouraging them to take ownership of their own reproduction.
Another interesting fact is that most under 16 year olds who have it will still wait till they're legally old enough.
It is a back up plan.
Sometimes it is used to regulate periods.
Having the jab isn't about license to shag.

Dave:
ok, its just the article suggests that the jab has led to a drop in teenage pregnancy
so presumably before a lot of them were having un-protected (or failed-protected) sex

Me:
Yep. But they don't just hand out the jab. It comes with education and counseling.
They're also tested for chlamydia and the like.
It's a real program of prevention being better than cure.

Dave:
cool

Me:
I think so!

So there you have it. Questions asked, answered and understanding reached.

If only some other Menz were like 'Dave'.

On Savile And Victim Blaming

Things have been bothering me ever since the Savile story broke.

It would seem that everything about it, the coverage and the commentariat, has been specifically designed to piss me the fuck off.

So I'm gonna list what has me so wound up that I can't sleep despite the industrial strength Horlicks and why below.

JUST THE WOMEN

Apparently that's *all* the BBC had to go on. *Just* the women. This boils my piss like you wouldn't believe. 'The women' would have been the correct answer to the question 'what evidence do you have?' It would have been an answer that was accurate, honest and didn't have a dismissive, apologetic tone to it. The women was answer enough. To put *just* in front of it is an insult. To all of us.

SOMEONE'S DAUGHTER

Biologically I am someone's daughter. My mum and dad's actually. But is that how I am named? 'daughter of Pat and Lloyd'? Fuck no. I am someone in my own right. I have my own worth, my own name and my own identity beyond being the product of my dad's loins. It is the same for the women. When we amplify this wrong by reducing her to being someone's daughter rather than a person in her own right we do a disservice to us all.

BUT HE'S DEAD, THERE CAN BE NO JUSTICE NOW

Yes, Savile is dead. He died at 84 having abused what is now thought to be upward of 300 children. Yes he is dead. But two things here. One, HE SHOULD HAVE DIED IN FUCKING PRISON, and two, justice comes in many forms. It isn't always about prosecuting the offender. Oft times it is about people just knowing what scum they were. Sometimes the justice comes from being believed. So if you can't see what good it does anyone to talk about it now he's dead, do me a favour and fuck off.
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

Ah the plaintive cry of the celebrity who was either witness, victim or had suspicions at the time. You were supposed to report it to the police you scum fucks.

NOBODY ASKED FOR BIRTH CERTIFICATES BACK THEN

Hey, guess what? We don't ask for them now. A simple 'how old are you?' suffices now, and would have back then too.

THINGS WERE DIFFERENT BACK THEN

Fuck off were they. A nonce was still a nonce. They still got the shit kicked out of them if they were caught.

All of this shows an attitude of 'yes, we're dreadfully sorry about what the girls went through, but this is getting massive now, fuck, we thought it was just some dead guy and Glitter. Fuck, there's gonna be some big names coming up aren't there? Shit, maybe we should just start posting articles saying, leave it now he's dead, it was a different time, these poor men weren't to know they were fucking CHILDREN as they didn't have birth certificates with them.'

No.

Not on my watch. To my mind this is victim blaming. I won't have it.

We need to make sure that how ever big this shit hill of abusers is that we track them all down. And that all of them are held to account, living or dead.

To *just* the women, #webelieveyou