It has been a weird triggery week for me this week. Last week was International Women's Day (IWD) and that threw up a huge amount of issues for men and women. 'Why have IWD?' I was asked along with 'where is Men's International Day?'
Second question is easy to answer. As @distopiandream_ put it, 'basic fucking research, Nov 19th'
First question is even easier, but will take a lot longer to answer. This is how I see it.
I am a feminist for a reason. That reason is because I can still answer 'NO' to the question 'Does this affect men?' Aware as I am that men get raped, are subject to domestic abuse etc, there were 4 things that focused my mind on things this week.
1. The #ididnotreport hashtag on Twitter. Stories shared by women (and some men) on why they did not report sexual abuse, this was an emotional and powerful thing to read. And read it I did. For hours and hours before I plucked up the courage to post to it myself. When I did, I immediately got the reply #webelieveyou. That was such a powerful moment that I couldn't sleep for crying. But they were happy cleansing tears. Why did I post on it in the end? I wanted my daughter to see it. To see it and to know that her life could be different. That she could talk if anything happened to her and that I would understand and support her. I spoke to her afterwards and I am hoping that this had the desired effect. The things that surprised me (but probably shouldn't) about it was that men were shocked but the women weren't. I was also surprised and empowered by the amount of women that I knew both personally and on Twitter that had been through the same thing. That leads me to...
2. The amount of private contact I had from women and one incredibly brave man who wanted to share their stories but didn't feel they could do so publicly. I spent hours and hours just sharing experiences with them and I hope that whatever I said that they felt better knowing they were not alone. I know I did. To them and everyone else who ever felt lost and unheard, #webelieveyou
3. A Thousand Reasons. I felt it answered the question 'Why feminism?' so beautifully, so eloquently that I make no apology for sharing it again. Just this week I have been asked if my tits get in the way of my career (No they don't, thanks for asking) I have had the assumption that I would remarry just to wear a nice dress (I wouldn't) and I have been called 'Dear' by a Senior Civil Servant (I promise he will not be doing that to anyone ever again). Until there are No Reasons I shall continue to be a feminist.
4. The disgusting behaviour of 'pro life' protesters in Brighton this week. Taking photos of women going into a clinic and harassing them with their vile literature. I put pro life in inverted commas as they don't seem to realise that to be pro choice is to be pro life. That it is my body, my life, my rules and that I would defend to the death the right of any woman to choose what they do with their own body.
So this is what gives me hope.
The absolute brilliance of my daughter, my cousin and their friends. All of whom are still young, all of whom are already fighting the fight to be recognised as the intelligent human beings they are. They are considered, amazing, vocal, funny as HELL and are already kicking ass and taking names. I have some great debates with them and watching their minds match and sometimes beat mine is an awe inspiring thing to see.
They will not accept it if they get told they have to be a nurse instead of a doctor. They will educate the men in their lives to not patronise any woman. Woe betide anyone who underestimates them for their wrath will be slow, painful and unmerciful (rather like a deep tissue massage) and will show the idiots up as the idiots they are.
For these young women are armed with something invincible. Each other.
Long may it continue.