The Strange Case Of The Baking Tray

It has been a very strange day today.

Being as it is friday and a bit of schadenfreude always makes people smile, I thought I'd give your weekends a boost by telling you about it.

As those of you who follow me on Twitter and those of you who are my friends on Facebook will know I was without mobile internet yesterday. It was horrible. Because of my Twitter addiction there was someone who actually emailed to see if I was alright because it was unlike me to be so quiet!

See, what happened was that Virgin hadn't put my Virgin Mobile minutes or data allowance on when they did my monthly refresh.

So I rang them. The lady was very nice and took the one package off and put the new one on manually. Which was lovely. But my internet stopped working. And yes I am enough of an asshole to be distraught at the loss of mobile web.

I admit it. Freely. Move on.

So I rang back and spoke to nice lady number two. And they are all lovely. She told me that she had activated the web but it might take 24 hours to come back. What I should do is a hard reboot now and then... Her: 'do you know what a hard reboot is?' Me: 'I'm a Blackberry owner. Of course I know.' This should reactivate the web.

So I did exactly that. Over and over again. And still nothing. And still I was without internet on my phone. Distraught. Bereft. Well not quite. I was fully expecting it to come back this morning. It didn't.

So, I'm on the 7.37 from Redcar East to Newcastle and I keep trying. I try and try until 8.50 when the 24 hours was up. Then I rang back. I went through to technical this time where the man tells me that the nice lady didn't do the right bit and he will have my internet up and running in a jiffy. Which bless him he did. I was very happy.

Then it all went a bit wrong.

I found the Metro bought my ticket and got on the train, feeling pretty chuffed with myself. I was tweeting and facebooking and blog reading and all was right with the world. Till it occurred to me that while I was talking to the lovely Steve from Virgin that I'd got off the train without my suitcase.

Bugger! At least I had Google back so I could get the number for Newcastle station right? Wrong. Could I find it? Could I fuck.

So I asked the biggest train geek I know and will always be grateful to the lovely Sam Harrison for using his wily ways to procure the number for me.

So. I rang Newcastle Station who said they didn't have it but did give me the number for Northern Rail. (By the way Ruth from Northern Rail, whatever they are paying you isn't nearly enough)

My case had not been cleared off by the naughty conductor. And it had gone to Carlisle. That train was then going back to Newcastle. Might I prevail upon the lovely conductor (who was wearing a big old RMT badge) to bring it back to Newcastle for me asked me. I can ask him says lovely Ruth but it's against policy. Insurance issues apparently.

I thought I was going to cry. My straighteners were in that case. I have spares at home, but they're shite. This is why they are spares. Lovely Ruth must have heard the catch in my voice as she said she'd see what she could do.

Then I broke my shoe. It was un wearable and un repairable. I had a spare pair. They were in my case. Which was in Carlisle.

So I was walking around barefoot. In Newcastle. In a meeting. Where the reps didn't really know me well. And things got a little heated. Hard to project authority when you are barefoot and the Chair announces to the meeting that you are waiting for a call to retrieve your underwear.

For fuck's sake.

Of course that call came right when the Chair said 'Dee, would you like to update us on the pilot scheme please?'

St Ruth of Northern Rail then told me that lovely conductor was bringing my case back to Newcastle. Yay!!!

Meeting continued and it was as meetings can be. Long. Contentious. Frustrating in parts but worth attending and ultimately very productive.

And as the Chair said 'Dee, would you like to give us the Group position on this policy please?'. My phone went again. St Ruth. Again. And she told me that they now had my case. And that it had been opened and checked at Carlisle and everyone, both at the Northern Rail offices at Newcastle and Carlisle wanted to know why there was a baking tray in it.

I hope the sainted Northern Rail staff are still laughing at the fact that I carry it because I am worried about my straighteners scorching surfaces. They were certainly laughing as lovely Ruth relayed this to them.

They laughed even harder when I turned up barefoot. And when I opened my case to get my spare shoes out and they actually saw the baking tray. Well, I get to use the word apoplectic here I think. Yep, that about describes it.

But you know, the way I was handled and the fact that St Ruth went above and beyond the call of duty meant that I didn't mind them laughing at the absurdity of it all and I laughed along with them.

I hope my day has amused you too.

I have my case and internet back thanks to people on the telephone. The meeting today was about Contact Centres.

I hope as you laugh that you think about how much crap these good people have to take and take some time to remember this next time you have reason to need them.

Dear Ed Milliband

Dear Ed,

I thought I would tell you a little about myself and why you drove me to chocolate today.

I come from a Labour family. My dad, an immigrant, came to this country and slept on Clapham Common because of the signs saying 'No blacks, no Irish, no dogs' for two weeks. He then worked on London Underground doing hard manual graft at night while studying to be a barrister during the day.

His values were labour values.
My mother brought up 3 kids on her own and taught us to always question, always seek knowledge. She took me to CND marches and we sat and collected groceries during the miner's strike.

Her values were Labour values.

I have children of my own. They believe in personal autonomy and responsibility. They are proud of our NHS, our schools, our emergency services, hells, they even understand the link between paying taxes and the affordability of pensions. They understand that the Welfare State was created as a safety net and they have seen first hand those who abuse the system get the most. But they do not get the concept of an 'undeserving poor'. And neither do I.

Our values are Labour values.
Shame then that yours aren't.

I missed your speech today. I was working at PCS trying hard to defend public sector terms and conditions. I got sent a link to it and settled down to read.

It made me physically ill. The rhetoric Ed, the rhetoric! Who wrote it? A Daily Mail staffer?

Bad enough that you refused to stand up for workers at the fucking TUC, you then made it worse by saying that those who opposed the changes to trade union laws were wrong.

The fucking *ARROGANCE* of you!!!

I really hope that you didn't mean that those who are working should take priority over those who aren't when it comes to social housing. For if you did, you are a cunt and God is ashamed of you.

You said 'when I am Prime Minister' today and talked about your rough school while pricing normal and poor families out of higher education. Here's a hint you fuckwit: six grand is no more affordable than nine grand.

You sold me out today Ed. When you refused to even acknowledge our battles over our (affordable) pensions.

You sold my dad out when you essentially cut off all hope of higher education for his grandchildren.

You sold my mum out when you refused to make provision for those who actually need the safety net.

And you sold my children and yours out when you delivered a speech today that was so grovelling, so obsequious, so toadying to business, so fucking right wing that it actually made me cry for the death of the party I once loved and always voted for.

What do I do now Ed? Who do I vote for now you have betrayed the working class?

No, don't answer, I'll ask Cameron or Clegg. It'll save you the trouble.

#TUC11 - Why I Shouted At Ed Milliband

I'm back from the TUC now, and what a fantastic time I had. Yes, it was much smaller. Yes, there were few amenities and some of the debate felt rushed. Yes, there were lots of stairs and I had a poorly ankle, but I still had a fantastic time.

For a start I got to make a seconding speech on supporting Trade Unions in Egypt that had been moved by the Fire Brigade's Union. It would be undiverse of me to make any comment that would objectify our big, burly, yummy comrades in the FBU so I won't.

I also got to watch union after union declare their intent where it comes to a Public Sector General Strike. One after another, some expected and some a surprise, (really, welcome to the Trade Union movement FDA and Prospect, see y'all on the picket line!) it was still a good feeling to be able to tweet them as they all stated that enough was enough and that they would be balloting their members  for strike action over pensions. Dave Prentis (Unison) actually got a standing ovation, and it would be uncharitable of me to make any comment that would equate to 'about bloody time, but better late than never I suppose' so I won't.

And of course I got my mug on the telly. A lot. Even in France and Spain so I am told!

See, what obstensibly happened was that Labour leader Ed Milliband came to the TUC on tuesday morning to speak to delegates. What actually happened was that he came to the TUC to wind the fuck out of us while showing everyone else, the press, the Labour MPs, his bestest chums Cameron, Clegg and Osborne that he wasn't in the pocket of the pesky unions who fund him and had got him his position in the first place.

To be fair, I hadn't expected and inspiring speech from him and on that point I wasn't disappointed. There was a lot of 'you guys are really great, please keep giving us money' type stuff, blah, blah, blah... So far so dull. Then he moved onto our strike action on June 30th this year.

(as an aside, I'm glad somebody fucking mentioned it, Brendan Barber certainly didn't in his speech to Congress)

Ed. You might want to sit down for this as I am sure it won't be what you're expecting.

You might think that I shouted at you because you said that while negotiations are ongoing that we shouldn't take strike action. It wasn't that at all. Actually, I agree with you on that and I expect that every trade unionist in history would agree too.

While negotiations are ongoing, we shouldn't take strike action. Strike action is, and always should be the action of last resort. And that, Ed, is the whole fucking point. I know this, you know this, my kids, their Nan and her fucking dog knows this. What the fuck makes you think that a hall filled with trade union Presidents, General Secretaries and Senior Lay Activists wouldn't have a clue?

I can only think that either:-

You think we are all stupid... in which case I was right to shout at you.

You don't actually support the right to strike... in which case you have no business being in the Labour Party and I was right to shout at you.

You actually do believe that negotiations, proper inclusive negotiations, with the government are ongoing... in which case you are an idiot, an ill informed, pointless idiot who has no business being in the Labour Party and I was right to shout at you.

The only thing I regret is that I had my foot strapped up so I couldn't get to the stage to call you out on your bullshit.

I hope it was worth it Ed. I hope you went back to your hole in the ground under your rock and bragged about how they can't call you 'Red Ed' anymore. I hope that you feel good about letting yourself, your members and your party down.

I had a tweet from one of my followers saying that they objected to leaders of non affiliated unions bullying you. How sweet. But it missed the fucking point!

I may not be in a union that is affiliated to the Labour Party. I may not be a member of the Labour Party. But I am a voter Ed. As are millions of us wonderful public sector workers who you refused to support on tuesday morning.

And we object to a leader of the Labour party who refuses to support the right to withdraw our labour while bigging up academy schools.

So there you go. That's why I shouted. Because I was angry at being treated like an idiot. I suppose it would be churlish of me to point out that Ed Milliband is a scab and a disgrace and should go now and let a proper leader win Labour the next election... so I won't.

Cut Union Facilities Time Will You?

Today I am fucking steaming!!!

Francis Maude and the Telegraph have set out their stalls where the time that Trade Union reps spend working for their members is concerned.

In a blatant attack on members now that other unions (YAY NASUWT, welcome to the party!!!) Are to ballot their members over strike action to protect their pensions, they will be cracking down on the time we spend on looking after members' interests.

Scarily there are some, who I thought would know better, who are nodding sagely saying 'oh yes, that sounds right...'

Well sage nodders, I have a question for you. Just one. Are you off this weekend?? Yes? Oh well then you can thank the unions. In your own time. No fucking rush!

The maths is totally wrong, the 'costings' way off. And I am sick to the back teeth of the whole 'paid for by the tax payer' thing. I AM the fucking taxpayer, so are my members as we have no fucking choice, unlike the bastards to evade/avoid it.

And I seriously object to the idea that union reps are doing nothing just because they spend less time doing core work. We half kill ourselves working on behalf of our members and we do so generally with scant regard for our own health, safety or welfare. The amount of reps I see burnt out is unreal. I'm in bed with my foot elevated because I'm off to the TUC tomorrow. In my own time. With no cost to the taxpayer. If I was just going to the office, I wouldn't go. And then I would be under threat of losing my job. Who would I turn to in my hour of need?

That's right sage nodders, the union!

And that is why Maude and the Torygraph need to check their facts and fuck off.

It's on now... Oh it's on!!!

If Not Now Then When?

I finished work early today with the intention of coming home and working on my speech for the TUC on monday, but found myself uninspired.

So I farted about on You Tube for a bit. I listened to a bit of Tevin Campbell and some vintage Al B Sure. It made me nostalgic for the 80's and 90's.

I thought back to what I was doing then. I was living under a Conservative government. I was a single mother on benefits. I lived in a council flat with my rent paid and looked after my baby. I wanted to work, but seriously couldn't afford it. I lived on bugger all money. I walked every where, I went without a social life. I never went on holiday. You know, the things that we are supposed to take for granted as everyday.

But you know what? With all of that I felt richer then than I do now 24 years on.

My baby is all grown up and planning a family of his own. I am again living under a Conservative government. Now I work. Full time. I pay my own rent. I live on bugger all money. I walk everywhere. I go without a social life. I can't remember the last time I went on holiday.

So nothing has changed it would seem. The poor are still scum. Immigration is still the cause of all ills. I am still  disgusted by what I see and I still feel the need to fight injustices.

I would say that some things are worse. I am a trade unionist and proud to be so. On monday starts the TUC Conference and I will be there and will be proud to be there. The first motion up is on Trade Union rights and how they don't actually conform to the Human Rights Act.

We have had our power and strength eroded by successive governments for years. Now is the time to take the power back. Who could have seen the communal stroll last saturday and not have felt that this was the time? Who could have seen the March For The Alternative and not have felt that this was the time? Who could have witnessed the mass strike action on June 30th and not felt that this was the time?

This is why I am proud to be part of the trade union movement and why I will be proud to be representing PCS next week at Congress.

But I'm even more proud of what I will be doing on sunday. There is a lobby of the TUC https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=222515987782045 . Now I know that there are those who think it a pointless exercise, there are those that see it as a waste of time and campaigning resources. But if we get a good turnout it will show that there is a will for further action, for the General Strike that was alluded to at Congress last year. And maybe it will change nothing. But maybe it will.

I don't want to read my grandchildren's blogs in 25 years time and wonder why we didn't do enough.

If now is not the time to really fight for change then when?

On Life After Death And Trade Union Weekends

I am Goddessdeeva and it has been a month since I last blogged.

I've been meaning to blog more, but I haven't had the heart. I'll explain.

Husband has moved all of his stuff out now. It is all official. It has been strange, weird, horrible. The time leading up to that was not pleasant and I have been quite ill through the stress of it all. Daily phone calls. Rowing all the time. Awkwardness with the kids. Horrible.

And yet there is a part of me that still loves him. Part of me wants to work it all out with him. Part of me just wants to wrap myself around him and never let him go. Part of me.

Big part of me wonders if I could have had the weekend I just had if I was still with him. Short answer is no.

Oh, here's a thing people. If you have a partner who wants to do stuff that doesn't interest you at weekends, saying 'I never stopped them from going' is disengenous. You are a passive aggressive asshole and I see through you. And you get on my last nerve.

But I digress.

I have just had the best weekend ever. I went to Tower Hamlets on saturday to help stop the scummy English Defence League from getting into the borough.

I was never sure how I felt about people from outside an area turning up on behalf of a community, but I am proud to have stood shoulder to shoulder with comrades and communities. Even though the Home Secretary had banned all marches. Actually marching would have contravened section 38 of the Public Order Act according to the lovely policeman who took me aside to talk to me after I had drunk a very nice cup of tea at the East London Mosque.

I wouldn't want to break the law. Nor would any of the comrades I was with. So we didn't march. Coz that would have been illegal.

We did take a communal stroll down Whitechapel Road though. Lots of us. Strolling communally. Like you do. On our way, we just happened to see a load of placards lying about. Tutting, we picked them up to make the place look tidier. Amazing as well how all us communal strollers had lots to say, mainly the same thing, all at the same time! To the untrained ear, it might have sounded like chanting! Especially when we all said 'are you watching Theresa May?'

But it wasn't a march... honest...

And best of all, they did not pass.

On sunday it was a completely different beast. I went to the Burston Strike School Rally (Google it lazy!) and had a great time. There were stalls, freebies (oh I love a good freebie) music (not keen, but there you go and John Hegley, no love... just no... you looked bored shitless) food, speeches, lying on the grass and a march round the same route the kids took (they walked bloody MILES!) with not one, but two marching bands courtesy of RMT and NASUWT.

It was fab.

I got to meet new comrades, see ones I hadn't seen in an age, lie on the grass eating vegetable jalfrezi and I even had a chat with Bob Crow. A real chat. About how happy I was that his members had scuppered EDL plans. If you ever happen to read this Bob, I'm sorry for delaying you on what was obviously a journey to the loos.

I am shattered. It is hard work doing what equates to a lot of standing around in intense heat listening to speeches you have heard before from people you don't know.

Would I have missed it for the world? Not on your nelly!

So it would seem that I have some serious thinking to do about what part of me I listen to. I'll let you know when I work it out.

But after TUC Congress eh? And Tolpuddle...